God willing...

Mom shared this with me the other day... it's such a powerful reminder that we are not in control of our lives. We live in a society of expectations and false realities but what really is "real?"

Lately I've been focusing on the here and now. Being present. To be. Last night during our small group, the lovely women I meet with twice a week and I were chatting about how we are "programmed" which is far from living in the present. We are built on routine and autopilot- especially during the work week or in our family's case, the busy season (April-November).

Finding time "to be" is difficult. I run two businesses, starting a third (more on that to come!), keeping house and trying to find time for me which is gym/eat, give some attention to Murphy and spend time with Kyle.

Enjoy this brief insight from My Grandfather's Blessings- a great reminder of just how fragile life is...

It is possible to befriend uncertainty, to remind yourself and others of the fluid, ever-changing nature of things. To remain awake to all possibility. Like many Orthodox Jews, my grandfather never made an appointment or spoke of any event without adding the words "God willing." It is actually a teaching of Orthodox Judaism that one does not make a promise without this tip of the hat to the authority of God. So whether someone said "I'll see you next Tuesday," or "We will have dinner in an hour," Grandpa would invariably respond, "God willing." God might, after all, end the world sometime between now and the chicken soup. There was never any fear in his voice when he said this, just a simple reminding of himself and those around him of the nature of things. Life required us to hold things loosely, not to be attached to a particular outcome. The lunch appointment, the pot roast, the graduation, or the marriage -- all were in God's hands. To be alive was to wait for the will of God to reveal itself. And one waited with curiosity. A sense of adventure. Much in the way you read a detective story at bedtime, struggling to stay awake in order to discover what is true, to see how things will turn out. If the fulfillment of every promise or plan rests on God's approval, then God's hand is hidden in everything that happens. According to my grandfather, all tragedy or blessings was a part of some unknowable and dynamic purpose. One might not always get one's own way, but one trusted the Way absolutely. At any given time, the will of God might be unknown, but the presence of God was certain and was the only certainty anyone needed in order to live. These days, my appointment calendar has places for entries three years ahead. There is a certain hubris in this, and, even as I write my commitments down, I remember this other way of living. I exchange letters of confirmation, I make plans, I even buy plane tickets, but deep inside I hold these things loosely. Lightly. I make my promises, and then I wait to find out. In my heart, I still hear my grandfather say, "God willing."